Last night was our next to last lesson for the year and not an easy one as we asked the question "What if someone won't forgive me?". This is a slight change of direction from the first two weeks and has multiple layers to unpack, but before we got started with anything, I wanted initial responses from the kids. Their reactions covered the bulk of responses that most people have. There was begging, ignoring, getting even and letting it go with a few more sprinkled in for good measure. And there was no clear "right" answer as they all admitted that it would totally depend on the person and situation. Remember... they're smart.
So, before we even discussed situational or conditional issues, we opened up the Bible and took a look at some things. We started in Proverbs 14:9 where we see Solomon contrast foolish and honest people. The foolish do bad things, laugh about it and don't take it seriously. But honest people do the right thing. This is nothing new, but it is cool to see the concept spelled out so plainly but the wisest guy of all time. We talked about this verse for a second to kind of set the picture of our question. When we mess up, there is a certain process that we need to follow. We need to own our mistake, apologize for what we've done and then do our best to fix it. I used the example of accidentally hitting/throwing a ball through someone's window. Foolish people would run away, hide and laugh about it. You know... punks. But honest people would go to the house, tell the owner what happened, apologize and pay to have it fixed. That is the right thing. And we have a responsibility to do the right thing.
So, our question relates to how others respond to us doing the right thing. What if they don't forgive our apology, for whatever reason. We flipped to James 5:16 and looked at his advice there. It says, "So admit to one another that you have sinned. Pray for one another so
that you might be healed. The prayer of a godly person is powerful. It
makes things happen." The first part lines up with what we read in Proverbs, but then James says to pray for one another. This is a crazy concept. When you are at odds with someone, pray for them. I asked the kids why on earth would you want to do that. They talked it out and what we came to was that it would be hard to keep being mad at someone you were praying for. I also mentioned that praying for someone keeps your heart tender toward them while they work through the forgiveness process. That brings us to the second part of that sentence: that you might be healed. Healing is part of forgiveness.
We stopped there for a minute to discuss the reality of hurting and healing. I started out practically. If you scrape your knee or break your arm, there is a process you go through to bring about healing. For a scrape, you clean it, medicate it, bandage it and it scabs over and, after a week or two, it heals. A broken bone sometimes needs to be set, then immobilized and then several weeks or months later, it heals. The same is true of relationships. When we sin against someone, depending on the wrong we do, there is a healing period even after we've apologized. What James is saying is that we should pray during that time for healing. And he says that prayer is powerful and works. So, praying keeps us from becoming bitter, resentful or vengeful during their healing process as well as asking the Spirit to soften their hearts and speed up the healing process that leads to forgiveness.
The last two scriptures we looked at give us a great example of the patience of forgiveness. In 2 Chronicles 7:14 and Psalm 66:16-20, we see God forgiving His people when they sin. A holy God is able to forgive the horrible things that we do when we apologize. This gives us hope that others will respond in the same way when we ask for forgiveness. But while God is able to forgive and forget, we don't have that luxury. So, a lot of times, when we mess up, own it, apologize and do the right thing, we still may have to wait for forgiveness. It may not come instantly because there is a healing process that takes place. That means that we have to practice grace in allowing someone to not forgive us the second we apologize. We need to forgive them for not forgiving us instantly.
So, what do we do if someone doesn't forgive us? Wait. Pray. Extend grace. Forgive them. You know, pretty much all of the things that we don't naturally want to do. But it is important for us to understand this, not only for those people but also for ourselves. Sometimes the only thing that brings about healing and forgiveness is a little time. And while praying can speed that up, there are a lot of things we can do to slow it down or make it impossible. In the same way, we shouldn't get frustrated with ourselves when forgiveness takes a while for us to extend when someone sins against us. We need to heal as well in those situations.
I heard the phrase "don't say you're are sorry unless you mean it" a lot going up. I say it often to my kids now. Our apologies should be sincere. But so should our forgiveness. And we need to allow someone to get to the point where they can honestly say, "you're forgiven", and mean it. That takes time. For different people and different situations, that could be a few hours, a few days or maybe a few years. Different wounds heal at different rates. Sure, it isn't fun or easy to wait to be forgiven. I think it is probably why we are told to try hard not to sin against one another. But when we do mess up, we can do the right thing and know that the rest of it is up to the other person. And once we've done that, we should give them the time, space and grace it takes to get to the point of forgiving us.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Say You're Sorry
We continued our conversation on forgiveness last night by asking the question "What if someone doesn't ask for forgiveness?". After all, we kind of got the feeling last week that the people that God was telling us to forgive 77 times or 490 times were apologizing. But what if they don't? Should we forgive them? I started by polling the kids and seeing what they thought. 80% said they should forgive no matter what. But the other 20% disagreed. And, just to be honest with them, I told them that I wasn't completely sure myself. That's why we ask questions and look at scriptures in Surge, rather than just listening to some guy's opinion.
That being said, we jumped right in and turned to Matthew 6:14-15. Jesus is giving some pretty solid instruction on prayer. He had just given a model prayer that outlines the "how" we should pray and follows it up with the command to forgive one another. But not just because he says so. Rather, he tells us to forgive so that God will forgive us. So we are to forgive others so that God will forgive us. And just in case that isn't clear enough, he follows that up by warning that if we don't forgive people, then God won't forgive us. Interestingly enough, no conditions surround the command to forgive. It doesn't say to forgive those who apologize or show remorse. It says to forgive others when they sin against you. Period.
Ok... but that's just one verse. Surely Jesus has more to say. So we flipped to Luke 6:27-31. Here we see some crazy instructions that fly in the face of reason. Jesus says love our enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those that curse you and pray for those who treat you bad. Seriously? And if that wasn't enough, he gives practical examples of how to respond to someone mistreating you or stealing from you. And he ends it with the golden rule of treating others the way we want to be treated. I stopped and asked the kids if they had ever had someone do something bad to them and not apologize. They all eagerly raised their hands. I asked if any of them had done something bad to someone else and not said they were sorry. They all raised their hands again, but with a little less excitement. Yet, we all expect to be forgiven when we do the bad thing. When we treat others the way we want to be treated, it means that we extend the same grace that we want.
I talked about how ridiculous that must have sounded to the people Jesus was talking to. You know, just as ridiculous as it sounds to us. What makes it hard to hear is that it doesn't line up with our sense of justice. It isn't right to bless those that curse you or pray for that treat you bad. If someone steals our coat, we report them to the authorities. We don't start pealing off additional layers to give them. And I'm sure the religious leaders balked in much the same way. But Jesus was on to something that goes beyond rights, possession and even justice.
Lastly, we looked at Ephesians 4:31-32. Here Paul commands the church in Ephesus to get rid of their feelings of anger and rage toward one another. He tells them to the be kind and tender to one another. He instructs them to forgive, just as God has forgiven them because of what Jesus had done for them. Again, no conditional response based on remorse or repentance. Just a command to forgive. So, no matter what someone does, you always forgive even if they don't say they are sorry?
Yes.
However, we also have a model relationship with our Creator through His son. That relationship exists because of grace by faith. And salvation comes, in part, by asking for forgiveness for our sins. So I asked the kids a hard question. After we've been justified and our sins are no longer held against us, why do we continue to ask for forgiveness for the sins that we commit? They thought for a long time but no one had an answer. It's an important question and one that we too often overlook the importance of. Why do we continue to tell God we're sorry once we have been forgiven of all of our sins? I'll spare you the route we took to get there, but the end result (that they came to) was that it is all about maintaining our relationship. We ask for forgiveness to keep the relationship right. God forgives us because of what Jesus did, but in our relationship with Him, we still need to say we're sorry.
So, do we forgive people that don't apologize? Absolutely! Every time! But, we also understand that apologies are what help maintain relationships and lack of them can destroy one. And while that is important to understand from the one who has been sinned against, it is even more important to grasp as one who sins. Jesus said the greatest command was to love. Relationships are the most important thing. Love is how we build relationships but forgiveness is how we maintain them. So when we mess up, we need to apologize. And when someone doesn't apologize to us, we forgive them and extend grace to them. But also with the understanding that it affects the relationship. Why do we do it? Not because it is easy. Not because it is fair. But because God forgave us first and promises to continue to forgive us if we do.
That being said, we jumped right in and turned to Matthew 6:14-15. Jesus is giving some pretty solid instruction on prayer. He had just given a model prayer that outlines the "how" we should pray and follows it up with the command to forgive one another. But not just because he says so. Rather, he tells us to forgive so that God will forgive us. So we are to forgive others so that God will forgive us. And just in case that isn't clear enough, he follows that up by warning that if we don't forgive people, then God won't forgive us. Interestingly enough, no conditions surround the command to forgive. It doesn't say to forgive those who apologize or show remorse. It says to forgive others when they sin against you. Period.
Ok... but that's just one verse. Surely Jesus has more to say. So we flipped to Luke 6:27-31. Here we see some crazy instructions that fly in the face of reason. Jesus says love our enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those that curse you and pray for those who treat you bad. Seriously? And if that wasn't enough, he gives practical examples of how to respond to someone mistreating you or stealing from you. And he ends it with the golden rule of treating others the way we want to be treated. I stopped and asked the kids if they had ever had someone do something bad to them and not apologize. They all eagerly raised their hands. I asked if any of them had done something bad to someone else and not said they were sorry. They all raised their hands again, but with a little less excitement. Yet, we all expect to be forgiven when we do the bad thing. When we treat others the way we want to be treated, it means that we extend the same grace that we want.
I talked about how ridiculous that must have sounded to the people Jesus was talking to. You know, just as ridiculous as it sounds to us. What makes it hard to hear is that it doesn't line up with our sense of justice. It isn't right to bless those that curse you or pray for that treat you bad. If someone steals our coat, we report them to the authorities. We don't start pealing off additional layers to give them. And I'm sure the religious leaders balked in much the same way. But Jesus was on to something that goes beyond rights, possession and even justice.
Lastly, we looked at Ephesians 4:31-32. Here Paul commands the church in Ephesus to get rid of their feelings of anger and rage toward one another. He tells them to the be kind and tender to one another. He instructs them to forgive, just as God has forgiven them because of what Jesus had done for them. Again, no conditional response based on remorse or repentance. Just a command to forgive. So, no matter what someone does, you always forgive even if they don't say they are sorry?
Yes.
However, we also have a model relationship with our Creator through His son. That relationship exists because of grace by faith. And salvation comes, in part, by asking for forgiveness for our sins. So I asked the kids a hard question. After we've been justified and our sins are no longer held against us, why do we continue to ask for forgiveness for the sins that we commit? They thought for a long time but no one had an answer. It's an important question and one that we too often overlook the importance of. Why do we continue to tell God we're sorry once we have been forgiven of all of our sins? I'll spare you the route we took to get there, but the end result (that they came to) was that it is all about maintaining our relationship. We ask for forgiveness to keep the relationship right. God forgives us because of what Jesus did, but in our relationship with Him, we still need to say we're sorry.
So, do we forgive people that don't apologize? Absolutely! Every time! But, we also understand that apologies are what help maintain relationships and lack of them can destroy one. And while that is important to understand from the one who has been sinned against, it is even more important to grasp as one who sins. Jesus said the greatest command was to love. Relationships are the most important thing. Love is how we build relationships but forgiveness is how we maintain them. So when we mess up, we need to apologize. And when someone doesn't apologize to us, we forgive them and extend grace to them. But also with the understanding that it affects the relationship. Why do we do it? Not because it is easy. Not because it is fair. But because God forgave us first and promises to continue to forgive us if we do.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Forgiveness Math
Last night we kicked off the first lesson of the last series for Surge this year. It was bittersweet! And we saved the best... and possibly hardest lessons for last. For the next four weeks we're going to be all about forgiveness. What better way to come off of Easter and the ultimate act of forgiveness to discuss the topic that so many people struggle with. So, last night was all about how many times we have to forgive someone. I started by asking the kids what they thought. They mentioned that it depends on what they do to us and who it is. After all, stepping on my toe and burning down my house are two entirely different things. And if you're my best-friend, you're probably going to be forgiven differently than my worst enemy. But, in general, they said something around 2 or 3 times, with a couple other random numbers. And that's pretty fair for what we experience in our world, right? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Three strikes and you're out. But is that what we should show people? And better yet, is that what we expect shown to us?
So, to kick things off, we see the Apostle Peter asking pretty much the same question in Matthew 18:21. But, instead of 2 or 3 times, the disciple suggests even up to 7 times. I'm sure he felt very generous with that amount. Surely that would be plenty. But Jesus' response, depending on the translation you use, says 77 or 70 times 7. And then, just to drive his point home, Jesus breaks out into story. His story of the servant without mercy puts it all into perspective. Those who have been forgiven a great debt should forgive the same way. So whether you read 77 or 490, the reality is the same... God wants us to forgive a bunch.
So, there isn't a formula for how many times, but do we always have to forgive? We flipped over to Luke 17 and we see a little more explanation. Jesus says that we should tell people when they sin and if they repent, or turn away, to forgive them. And if they do it seven times on one day? Forgive them seven times. To put some perspective to this, I suggested that if I came up to them and punched them in the face and then said I was sorry, and then did it 6 more times, would they really want to forgive me? Of course not, which is why this is such a hard thing. Memory and self-preservation make it hard. We don't like being hurt, made fun of, embarrassed or betrayed. But I pointed out that Jesus didn't say we have to be their best friend - we just simple have to forgive them. If someone punches you in the face every time you see them, extending forgiveness is commanded, but no one says you have to stand around and wait for it.
Another key thing I mentioned at this point is that forgiving someone doesn't mean not holding them accountable and punishing them when they mess up. If someone kills a member of your family, you can forgive them but also they still need to go to prison. If your friend lies to you, you can forgive them, but it doesn't mean you have to be their friend. There are consequences for sin, but we're still to forgive those sins when people commit them.
Lastly, we looked at Colossians 3:13. This verse is killer when it comes to how we respond to forgiveness. First, it tells us to put up with each other. It doesn't say like everyone. It doesn't say hold hands and sing songs and wear a smile all day. It says put up with each other. That means that you aren't going to always like them and they won't always like you, but out of love, deal with it. Then it says to forgive the things you are holding on to. But not just forgive them, forgive them the same way God forgave you. Ouch! That is as simple of a command as you can give. No need for math. No need for tally marks or a score sheet. Simply forgive the same way God forgave you.
I asked the kids if they like being forgiven. I asked them if they expect to be forgiven. I asked for a practical example of their day-to-day life about how this works. I got great replies, but one took the cake. She said she expected her parents to forgive her when she messes up, and they always do, even if she has to get punished. But, she says when they break a promise to her, like not taking her somewhere or doing something for her, she has a hard time forgiving them. I asked the kids if they could relate and it was a unanimous yes. We love the part where we get forgiven. We love that Jesus died for our sins and that God forgives us. So why is it that we have a hard time giving what we enjoy getting so much?
I wish I could tell you that this is an easy lesson for me to teach because I've mastered it. But, as I told them, the point of discipleship, especially at their age, is so that they can figure these things out at 10 or 11 and be further down the road than their parents and teachers by the time they are our age. And it might just take them all of that time to develop the habit of showing that kind of forgiveness. But there is no question of how much grace we should extend or how much forgiveness we should give. It's only as much as God has shown us.
So, to kick things off, we see the Apostle Peter asking pretty much the same question in Matthew 18:21. But, instead of 2 or 3 times, the disciple suggests even up to 7 times. I'm sure he felt very generous with that amount. Surely that would be plenty. But Jesus' response, depending on the translation you use, says 77 or 70 times 7. And then, just to drive his point home, Jesus breaks out into story. His story of the servant without mercy puts it all into perspective. Those who have been forgiven a great debt should forgive the same way. So whether you read 77 or 490, the reality is the same... God wants us to forgive a bunch.
So, there isn't a formula for how many times, but do we always have to forgive? We flipped over to Luke 17 and we see a little more explanation. Jesus says that we should tell people when they sin and if they repent, or turn away, to forgive them. And if they do it seven times on one day? Forgive them seven times. To put some perspective to this, I suggested that if I came up to them and punched them in the face and then said I was sorry, and then did it 6 more times, would they really want to forgive me? Of course not, which is why this is such a hard thing. Memory and self-preservation make it hard. We don't like being hurt, made fun of, embarrassed or betrayed. But I pointed out that Jesus didn't say we have to be their best friend - we just simple have to forgive them. If someone punches you in the face every time you see them, extending forgiveness is commanded, but no one says you have to stand around and wait for it.
Another key thing I mentioned at this point is that forgiving someone doesn't mean not holding them accountable and punishing them when they mess up. If someone kills a member of your family, you can forgive them but also they still need to go to prison. If your friend lies to you, you can forgive them, but it doesn't mean you have to be their friend. There are consequences for sin, but we're still to forgive those sins when people commit them.
Lastly, we looked at Colossians 3:13. This verse is killer when it comes to how we respond to forgiveness. First, it tells us to put up with each other. It doesn't say like everyone. It doesn't say hold hands and sing songs and wear a smile all day. It says put up with each other. That means that you aren't going to always like them and they won't always like you, but out of love, deal with it. Then it says to forgive the things you are holding on to. But not just forgive them, forgive them the same way God forgave you. Ouch! That is as simple of a command as you can give. No need for math. No need for tally marks or a score sheet. Simply forgive the same way God forgave you.
I asked the kids if they like being forgiven. I asked them if they expect to be forgiven. I asked for a practical example of their day-to-day life about how this works. I got great replies, but one took the cake. She said she expected her parents to forgive her when she messes up, and they always do, even if she has to get punished. But, she says when they break a promise to her, like not taking her somewhere or doing something for her, she has a hard time forgiving them. I asked the kids if they could relate and it was a unanimous yes. We love the part where we get forgiven. We love that Jesus died for our sins and that God forgives us. So why is it that we have a hard time giving what we enjoy getting so much?
I wish I could tell you that this is an easy lesson for me to teach because I've mastered it. But, as I told them, the point of discipleship, especially at their age, is so that they can figure these things out at 10 or 11 and be further down the road than their parents and teachers by the time they are our age. And it might just take them all of that time to develop the habit of showing that kind of forgiveness. But there is no question of how much grace we should extend or how much forgiveness we should give. It's only as much as God has shown us.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Hot Topic!
Last night we broke away from our normal routine to do a Hot Topic on the Geography of the Bible. Wait... don't start yawning. While it might not sound like the most interesting topic on the surface, I'd be willing to bet that most adults, including parents, would be surprised at how little they know about simply things related to location in the Bible. Things like the location of Mount Ararat, which river the city of Nineveh is on and where the region of Galatia is in relation to the cities of Thessolonica and Philippi. And while that might seem like trivial knowledge, it really makes understanding a lot of the subtle things in scripture easier and fuller than just a "somewhere over there" mentality.
But 4th and 5th graders? Yeah, ok... I could see someone questioning a 10 year-old being interested in which of the tribes got which plot of land in Canaan. And honestly, they weren't bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm. But, with the way we do Hot Topics, they not only heard the information, but they saw it and wrote it down. And if I could have figured out a way to have them smell it or taste it, I would. But because of getting them to see, hear and write it, I feel like they'll retain at least some of it for many years to come. After all, the Spirit can't bring something to mind that they've never been exposed to.
But 4th and 5th graders? Yeah, ok... I could see someone questioning a 10 year-old being interested in which of the tribes got which plot of land in Canaan. And honestly, they weren't bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm. But, with the way we do Hot Topics, they not only heard the information, but they saw it and wrote it down. And if I could have figured out a way to have them smell it or taste it, I would. But because of getting them to see, hear and write it, I feel like they'll retain at least some of it for many years to come. After all, the Spirit can't bring something to mind that they've never been exposed to.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
More than a feeling
I usually update this on Thursday mornings, but tonight we had one of those classes that just won't wait. We wrapped up our conversation of a big, big God by asking "What about when God feels far away?". After all, this big, big God that is invisible but still wants to be our friend doesn't exactly always feel like He's around. This is such an important question that many people struggle with throughout their lives. But, before we unpacked the question, I needed to ask a couple more, just to set the tone for the evening. The first question was "Is God ever far away?" to which they instantly replied "no" as they are well aware that God is omnipresent. It's part of what makes Him God. So I followed that up with "Then what is the key word in the question of 'what about when God feels far away'?". They thought about that a little longer but finally came to the conclusion that it was the word "feels". Exactly. With those two thoughts in place, we started our discussion.
The first two stops are directly related to one another and form the basis for the beginning of our discussion. Acts 13:22 and Psalm 89:13-29 both paint a picture of David being a man that God has great affection for. Their relationship is close and David finds great favor in God's eyes. This is the David that we know and admire. This is the giant-killing, harp-playing, street-dancing king that authored Psalm 23. This is the guy whose family line would produce the final solution to the problem of sin. This is the man after God's own heart. This is our model for the relationship with God that all of us should strive for.
However, we also need to read Psalm 13. We need to read Psalm 22. We need to see David calling out to a God that he feels isn't close or even listening. We need to hear him lamenting as he feels God is ignoring and hiding from David. The words pour out of David in such a way that we identify with his anguish and hurt along with him. This does not sounds like the David we were just describing. If David can feel this way about God, where does that leave us?
Just to be sure, I asked the kids if they thought God had actually been far from David as he wrote those words. They said no. But it is obvious that He felt far away to David. And David is not the only one. We turned to Matthew 27:45-50 as we see Jesus cry out, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani". Surely God wouldn't turn His back on His own son in his greatest hour of need. I asked the kids what they thought about it. They talked it out and the outcome of their thoughts was that God had to turn His back on Jesus because of sin. And even though God was still there, Jesus felt like He was far.
In both situations, the culprit is sin.
David's laments throughout the Psalms are a direct result of sin, both his and others. Jesus, bearing our sins on the cross, felt the separation from his Father for the first time in eternity. Sin makes God feel far away. It is because He is holy and is set apart from sin. I didn't have to go into much detail as this made complete sense to the kids. So while God is near, He feels distant because of how He reacts to sin. The problem isn't with God actually being distant, but rather, how we feel because of His reaction. Whew! I'm glad we figured that little problem out. But there is a catch... we don't want Him to feel distant. So what do we do? Not sin? That's easy to say, and certainly the goal to shoot for, but pulling it off is a little harder. So how do we make God not feel far when we do sin?
We stepped back to use an example of a friend. If we had a friend that wasn't talking to us, and we didn't know why, we would go through a process to fix it. I asked the kids to walk me through that process. They explained that first, you would think back through the last couple encounters to see if there was anything that stood out that might explain it. If so, you would go apologize. If not, you might have to go to them and ask what you did wrong. If they told you, then you apologize. Realization followed by apology which hopefully leads to forgiveness. Once that has happened, you move forward. The exact same thing is true of God. Assuming we don't know which sin we have committed (yeah right) that keeps us from feeling God is near, we first examine our lives. We search out to see where we have offended God. And if we can figure it out, we ask for forgiveness. If we can't figure it out, we ask Him. Then we listen. The Spirit will reveal the sin and then we ask for forgiveness. It's the same with God as it is with any relationship. The only difference is that we're the only ones that can offend and need to ask for forgiveness and He is eager to forgive.
Right then, as if on cue, one of them asks, "But what if it isn't sin that makes God feel far? What if it is something else bad that is going on?" It's so hard to keep a straight face when you're choked up and beaming with pride. I love these kids! Sorry... Focus... YES! Great question! What if it isn't sin that is causing God to feel distant? What if it is just the pains of living in a fallen world and dealing with things like suffering, death and evil? That happens. We talked through the reality of bad things happening that cause us to question where God is in it all. To answer, I had a little practical illustration in mind. As I continued teaching, I dropped my voice to the smallest whisper I could produce and still keep talking. At first they laughed and joked until it clicked and they begin to tell each other to be quiet. Then they started catching bits and pieces. If they were quiet, they could make out parts but it wasn't until one of them got the bright idea to stand up and walk over to me that they were able to hear it all.
There is a beautiful story in 1 Kings 19 where Elijah is facing a serious trial. He is being chased by his enemies, God's people are worshipping idols and doing all types of evil, and Elijah is feeling distraught to the point of wishing for his death. The prophet makes it to Mount Horeb after 40 days of traveling and ends up in a cave. There the Lord comes to him and tells Elijah to go out and wait as He is about to pass by the mountain. At first there was a mighty wind, but God was not in the wind. Then there was a earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. Then there was a roaring fire, but God was not in the fire. Then came a gentle whisper. God was in the whisper.
A whisper seems so distant. It seems so far away. And when we seek to hear it, we tend to do two things: we quiet ourselves and lean toward it. These are the things that God wants and part of why God feels so far away during certain trials. He is in the whisper and is trying to get us to quiet ourselves and draw near to Him. It is a part of the way He redeems the evil in the world. It is why so many people come through ordeals closer to God. It is part of why He allows them to happen. It is what tilts us off balance when we become content with where we are in our process of sanctification. God uses our flawed emotional perception of His location to betray us enough to reveal His true presence and strength which draws us in to Himself as a means of growing us to be more like Christ. It is absolute genius.
Before we wrapped up, I had to ask the question "what makes us feel like God is far?". While we've already unpacked the questions of "why" God feels distant, I wanted to at least address the "what" causes the feeling. For the kids, it was when He doesn't answer our prayers or bad things keep happening. Since we had already discussed the way God uses bad things to draw us near, I wanted to talk about the way God answers prayers. We could spend an entire lesson on this topic but I just wanted to remind them that God hears our prayers, even if the answer is no, not yet or something else that doesn't line up with our instant-gratification expectations. Just because He doesn't answer our prayers the way we want doesn't mean He isn't there. And it doesn't always indicate sin. Sometimes we just pray based on our limited, finite, selfish perspective and it doesn't compare to His limitless, infinite, perfect plans. Being told no doesn't mean He isn't near. It just means no.
So, where does all that leave us? What do we do when God seems far? The answer is simple, though not always easy. Get up! Go to Him! Whether it is to ask for forgiveness for a sin we've committed against Him or if it is to draw near and quiet ourselves to hear the whisper, the result is the same. He is always here. If He feels distant then it is because we are not where we should be. It could be our pride, our stubbornness, our ignorance, our contentment, or any number of other things that hold us fast to where we are. But it isn't because He isn't there. We should be seeking Him, drawing near to Him and relying on Him. And, like both David and Jesus, if he feels far, then we can tell Him that He feels far. We can tell Him when we are scared, frustrated and mad. We can admit when we feel abandoned, ignored and forsakened. We can be honest and tell Him what we feel, even if we are wrong or if our perception is just off. He's can take it. After all, He is a big, big God.
The first two stops are directly related to one another and form the basis for the beginning of our discussion. Acts 13:22 and Psalm 89:13-29 both paint a picture of David being a man that God has great affection for. Their relationship is close and David finds great favor in God's eyes. This is the David that we know and admire. This is the giant-killing, harp-playing, street-dancing king that authored Psalm 23. This is the guy whose family line would produce the final solution to the problem of sin. This is the man after God's own heart. This is our model for the relationship with God that all of us should strive for.
However, we also need to read Psalm 13. We need to read Psalm 22. We need to see David calling out to a God that he feels isn't close or even listening. We need to hear him lamenting as he feels God is ignoring and hiding from David. The words pour out of David in such a way that we identify with his anguish and hurt along with him. This does not sounds like the David we were just describing. If David can feel this way about God, where does that leave us?
Just to be sure, I asked the kids if they thought God had actually been far from David as he wrote those words. They said no. But it is obvious that He felt far away to David. And David is not the only one. We turned to Matthew 27:45-50 as we see Jesus cry out, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani". Surely God wouldn't turn His back on His own son in his greatest hour of need. I asked the kids what they thought about it. They talked it out and the outcome of their thoughts was that God had to turn His back on Jesus because of sin. And even though God was still there, Jesus felt like He was far.
In both situations, the culprit is sin.
David's laments throughout the Psalms are a direct result of sin, both his and others. Jesus, bearing our sins on the cross, felt the separation from his Father for the first time in eternity. Sin makes God feel far away. It is because He is holy and is set apart from sin. I didn't have to go into much detail as this made complete sense to the kids. So while God is near, He feels distant because of how He reacts to sin. The problem isn't with God actually being distant, but rather, how we feel because of His reaction. Whew! I'm glad we figured that little problem out. But there is a catch... we don't want Him to feel distant. So what do we do? Not sin? That's easy to say, and certainly the goal to shoot for, but pulling it off is a little harder. So how do we make God not feel far when we do sin?
We stepped back to use an example of a friend. If we had a friend that wasn't talking to us, and we didn't know why, we would go through a process to fix it. I asked the kids to walk me through that process. They explained that first, you would think back through the last couple encounters to see if there was anything that stood out that might explain it. If so, you would go apologize. If not, you might have to go to them and ask what you did wrong. If they told you, then you apologize. Realization followed by apology which hopefully leads to forgiveness. Once that has happened, you move forward. The exact same thing is true of God. Assuming we don't know which sin we have committed (yeah right) that keeps us from feeling God is near, we first examine our lives. We search out to see where we have offended God. And if we can figure it out, we ask for forgiveness. If we can't figure it out, we ask Him. Then we listen. The Spirit will reveal the sin and then we ask for forgiveness. It's the same with God as it is with any relationship. The only difference is that we're the only ones that can offend and need to ask for forgiveness and He is eager to forgive.
Right then, as if on cue, one of them asks, "But what if it isn't sin that makes God feel far? What if it is something else bad that is going on?" It's so hard to keep a straight face when you're choked up and beaming with pride. I love these kids! Sorry... Focus... YES! Great question! What if it isn't sin that is causing God to feel distant? What if it is just the pains of living in a fallen world and dealing with things like suffering, death and evil? That happens. We talked through the reality of bad things happening that cause us to question where God is in it all. To answer, I had a little practical illustration in mind. As I continued teaching, I dropped my voice to the smallest whisper I could produce and still keep talking. At first they laughed and joked until it clicked and they begin to tell each other to be quiet. Then they started catching bits and pieces. If they were quiet, they could make out parts but it wasn't until one of them got the bright idea to stand up and walk over to me that they were able to hear it all.
There is a beautiful story in 1 Kings 19 where Elijah is facing a serious trial. He is being chased by his enemies, God's people are worshipping idols and doing all types of evil, and Elijah is feeling distraught to the point of wishing for his death. The prophet makes it to Mount Horeb after 40 days of traveling and ends up in a cave. There the Lord comes to him and tells Elijah to go out and wait as He is about to pass by the mountain. At first there was a mighty wind, but God was not in the wind. Then there was a earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. Then there was a roaring fire, but God was not in the fire. Then came a gentle whisper. God was in the whisper.
A whisper seems so distant. It seems so far away. And when we seek to hear it, we tend to do two things: we quiet ourselves and lean toward it. These are the things that God wants and part of why God feels so far away during certain trials. He is in the whisper and is trying to get us to quiet ourselves and draw near to Him. It is a part of the way He redeems the evil in the world. It is why so many people come through ordeals closer to God. It is part of why He allows them to happen. It is what tilts us off balance when we become content with where we are in our process of sanctification. God uses our flawed emotional perception of His location to betray us enough to reveal His true presence and strength which draws us in to Himself as a means of growing us to be more like Christ. It is absolute genius.
Before we wrapped up, I had to ask the question "what makes us feel like God is far?". While we've already unpacked the questions of "why" God feels distant, I wanted to at least address the "what" causes the feeling. For the kids, it was when He doesn't answer our prayers or bad things keep happening. Since we had already discussed the way God uses bad things to draw us near, I wanted to talk about the way God answers prayers. We could spend an entire lesson on this topic but I just wanted to remind them that God hears our prayers, even if the answer is no, not yet or something else that doesn't line up with our instant-gratification expectations. Just because He doesn't answer our prayers the way we want doesn't mean He isn't there. And it doesn't always indicate sin. Sometimes we just pray based on our limited, finite, selfish perspective and it doesn't compare to His limitless, infinite, perfect plans. Being told no doesn't mean He isn't near. It just means no.
So, where does all that leave us? What do we do when God seems far? The answer is simple, though not always easy. Get up! Go to Him! Whether it is to ask for forgiveness for a sin we've committed against Him or if it is to draw near and quiet ourselves to hear the whisper, the result is the same. He is always here. If He feels distant then it is because we are not where we should be. It could be our pride, our stubbornness, our ignorance, our contentment, or any number of other things that hold us fast to where we are. But it isn't because He isn't there. We should be seeking Him, drawing near to Him and relying on Him. And, like both David and Jesus, if he feels far, then we can tell Him that He feels far. We can tell Him when we are scared, frustrated and mad. We can admit when we feel abandoned, ignored and forsakened. We can be honest and tell Him what we feel, even if we are wrong or if our perception is just off. He's can take it. After all, He is a big, big God.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Freak!
With the mission trip under our belt, we dove back into our discussion of our big, big God by looking at the question of whether this invisible God that desires a relationship with us is going to make us be some sort of "Jesus Freak". There are a lot of variables there, so before we can even get started with our question, we need to quantify things a bit. So, the first item to address is the term "freak". The kids did a very thorough job defining the term, though I'll spare you all the details, but ended up with “strange”, “crazy” and “unusual” as the best words to describe it. Then we focused on figuring out just what a "Jesus Freak" is and whether or not it is even a negative term. The consensus was that it is someone who is kind of an over-the-top Christian or extreme in their faith. Fair enough. And as to whether it was a good or bad thing, they sort of had mixed feelings.
So, as we began, I drew a line on the board with the two "extremes" of faith - one end being none, such as an atheist, and the other end being the "Jesus Freak". At that point I had the kids identify where they felt that they currently fell on the chart between the extremes and where they felt like they should be. They were all over the place, but the end result was about the same for all of them. They were somewhere in the middle and felt like they should be further toward the "Jesus Freak" end, but not necessarily to the end. One of them summed it up pretty well. She said, "I know I should be closer to the “Jesus Freak”, but part of me just doesn't want to." Yup, that pretty much sums it up for the vast majority of us. But the question is why.
So, we started off by opening up and looking at 1 Corinthians 11:1. Here we see Paul make a bold statement to the church in Corinth that they should "Follow my example, just as I follow the example of Christ". Talk about being confident in your walk. I asked the kids if any of them felt like they could make such a claim and they laughed. I did too. But imagine being so far along in your walk with God that you could tell people that aren't sure about how to be a Christian to simply copy what you're doing. This brought up our dot/line conversation that we have talked about over the last couple months. As Christians, we are moving along the line of sanctification, or becoming more Christ-like. It is a process. We all move at different paces and at different times, but the goal is the same for all: to be more like Jesus.
So, as a Christian in process, the end goal would appear to be the "Jesus Freak" end of the spectrum. So what's the hold up? We flipped back a few books to Romans 12:1-2 to see Paul talking to the church in Rome. He says some pretty interesting stuff that I bet was probably just as hard for the Romans to hear as it is for us today. Things like offering up our bodies as living sacrifices and not living the way the world lives make us a little uncomfortable. After all, being a living sacrifice means that we have to die to ourselves. We talked about that a little and basically explained that it is when we place more importance on what God wants for us than what we want for ourselves. On paper that sounds good, but living it out is a little harder. After all, there are lots of things out there to do that don’t exactly line up with being Christ-like. Being in the world means we see a lot of things out there that we want to be a part of and dying to that part of life to do what God wants us to do doesn’t sound like all that much fun. Wouldn’t it be easier if we didn’t have to see it?
People have tried to make that process easier and more realistic by withdrawing from society to become monks and hermits living on the fringe, having little or no human interaction to shield themselves from temptation and worldly things. They take being "in the world but not of the world" to the extreme. I asked the kids if anything is wrong with living that way and they instantly answered that isolating yourself means that you can't tell other people about Jesus. Bingo! They’re so smart. The relationships that we have play such a huge role in the day-to-day evangelism of the gospel. Without contact with the world, our role in the gospel is reduced to less than what God designed it to be. So, if we can't withdraw from the world, how do we live in it without being affected by it?
The last scripture for the day finds us in 1 Peter 2:1-3. Here we get practical instructions and advice that basically boils down to reducing sin and desiring God. Again, it seems so simple on paper. So why is it such a problem? The kids knew without me cueing them. It’s because we are sinful. Our sin nature makes the process of sanctification slow because we get bogged down in the mess of the world, in our own sinful wiring, in our desire to be in control, in the addiction of experience and so many other things. But despite the obstacles, our goal is to keep moving. We should never be content with where we are in our walk. We should constantly be in process.
Will that make us a "Jesus Freak"? That depends. Perspective is everything. From the “faithless” end of the spectrum, following after an invisible God and putting hope in grace by faith probably does seem freakish. It is not normal to die to oneself, especially when society tells you that you are the most important thing. But, from the other end of the spectrum, the guy living for himself, in the moment, with no hope in anything beyond himself and his temporary life seems pretty crazy too. And the guy straddling the fence trying to be "Christian" - but still trying to do everything the world does - probably thinks that both ends are goofy. Other people are always going to judge based on where they are, what they want to see, and their perception of truth. How much stock we put in their perspective can keep us from moving on toward our goal of being Christ-like.
While adults would probably be sitting back, nodding in agreement and unwilling to ask the hard questions… preteens don’t know any better. So, one of them asked, “what if appearing to be too much of a “Jesus Freak” ends up making some people not want a relationship with me?”. What a great and honest question! Even if it is because of their distorted perception, what if it keeps them from wanting to have anything to do with us? I have no clue. It’s a real concern a lot of people have. If they appear too “Christian”, they can’t slip under the radar and build relationships with non-believers. My only response is that our part of the equation is to be obedient. Part of that obedience is trusting that God is in control and knows best. Part of what 1 Peter 2 told us was “Don't pretend to be something you are not”. This not only means to not act holier or better than what you are, but not to act worse than you are. Be yourself and let God be in control. Let Him orchestrate how those relationships work themselves out. And if someone doesn’t want to hang out with you because of who you are, then let God worry about it.
Let’s be honest. Life in this world is hard and messy. I think of God sending His only son to be a nasty, smelly human and what a hard thing that would have been for him. Imagine begin a co-creator of the universe in one minute and relying on your creation to change your diaper the next. Yet, Jesus put himself in the middle of that mess and was successfully able to live in the world and not be of it. He did it because of the relationships and perspective that it afforded him. People thought he was a freak, too. The religious leaders rejected him because of what he said and did. And ultimately, he endured torture, death and separation so that all of humanity could have the choice of being reconciled with God.
So will God make me a "Jesus Freak"? Nope. God doesn't make me do anything. He gives me the choice and freedom to do whatever I want, even at His own expense. When I choose the things of the world, I suffer the consequences. And when I choose to do what is right, it brings glory to Him. But God lets me decide who I am. The question is will I choose to live life for myself or in such a way that I am constantly moving closer to being Christ-like? Will I be content with simply being justified or will I strive to work out my sanctification? Is it my desire to be viewed as “normal” by the masses or to be so conformed to the image of Christ that I can tell others to emulate me as I emulate him? And depending on what I choose, I just might be considered a freak by some. But I might also be considered a role model by others. And when it is all said and done, I might just be considered a "good and faithful servant" by the only One whose opinion really matters.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Church Under the Bridge
Sorry for the delay. Apparently the hard drive on my laptop died during the trip. But that's not going to stop me from telling you about our final day in Waco. We woke up and loaded our stuff to head to the Rock for our last breakfast, some instructions and to gift Mission Waco with some supplies that we were able to provide them. At that point, we loaded on the vans and headed down to I-35 for one of the most unique church experiences you can imagine.
Set across the service road from Baylor on a wide median directly under the I-35 overpass, Church Under the Bridge is as simple as church can get. A trailer acts as a stage and metal folding chairs are set out for the hundreds of people who call themselves Trolls. Every type of person can be seen there. There were old and young, homeless and well-off and every color of the rainbow. We saw several faces from the past few days as well as some from previous years. After we met and greeted, church started. Pigeons flew around and traffic roared overhead, but church was happening in the most authentic way. Worship was amazing as two guitars, a bass, a mandolin and even a washboard praised God. As usual, Patrick led worship in his own special way. We sang a few songs before we sat and listened to the guest speaker of the day, Emily Mills with the ministry JesusSaidLove. It is an organization she and her husband started to love on and build relationships with those in the margins. You can visit their site at http://www.jesussaidlove.com/ for more information on their ministry. Service concluded with communion where this assorted group of every type of person you can imagine all remembered Jesus and his sacrifice. It was a very moving and humbling experience. Afterward, we talked the similarities between our church and what they had experienced that morning. This was definitely the first time they had ever seen people smoking in church, among other unique things that happens there. Here are a few pictures from the morning:
Church Under the Bridge
Meeting and visiting with the members of this church.
Service about to begin.
Talented musicians leading us in worship.
Patrick is a staple under the bridge. While he is mentally handicapped, there is nothing wrong with his heart and the way he greets and loves people. Having almost nothing of his own, Patrick gives away almost everything he has during church, especially hugs and handshakes. And, equipped with his own guitar, he takes center stage to lead worship.
Set across the service road from Baylor on a wide median directly under the I-35 overpass, Church Under the Bridge is as simple as church can get. A trailer acts as a stage and metal folding chairs are set out for the hundreds of people who call themselves Trolls. Every type of person can be seen there. There were old and young, homeless and well-off and every color of the rainbow. We saw several faces from the past few days as well as some from previous years. After we met and greeted, church started. Pigeons flew around and traffic roared overhead, but church was happening in the most authentic way. Worship was amazing as two guitars, a bass, a mandolin and even a washboard praised God. As usual, Patrick led worship in his own special way. We sang a few songs before we sat and listened to the guest speaker of the day, Emily Mills with the ministry JesusSaidLove. It is an organization she and her husband started to love on and build relationships with those in the margins. You can visit their site at http://www.jesussaidlove.com/ for more information on their ministry. Service concluded with communion where this assorted group of every type of person you can imagine all remembered Jesus and his sacrifice. It was a very moving and humbling experience. Afterward, we talked the similarities between our church and what they had experienced that morning. This was definitely the first time they had ever seen people smoking in church, among other unique things that happens there. Here are a few pictures from the morning:
Wrapping up our trip with a final prayer.
Church Under the Bridge
Meeting and visiting with the members of this church.
Service about to begin.
Talented musicians leading us in worship.
Patrick is a staple under the bridge. While he is mentally handicapped, there is nothing wrong with his heart and the way he greets and loves people. Having almost nothing of his own, Patrick gives away almost everything he has during church, especially hugs and handshakes. And, equipped with his own guitar, he takes center stage to lead worship.
Another successful trip being the hands and feet of Christ to the homeless and poverty stricken community in Waco.
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