I usually update this on Thursday mornings, but tonight we had one of those classes that just won't wait. We wrapped up our conversation of a big, big God by asking "What about when God feels far away?". After all, this big, big God that is invisible but still wants to be our friend doesn't exactly always feel like He's around. This is such an important question that many people struggle with throughout their lives. But, before we unpacked the question, I needed to ask a couple more, just to set the tone for the evening. The first question was "Is God ever far away?" to which they instantly replied "no" as they are well aware that God is omnipresent. It's part of what makes Him God. So I followed that up with "Then what is the key word in the question of 'what about when God feels far away'?". They thought about that a little longer but finally came to the conclusion that it was the word "feels". Exactly. With those two thoughts in place, we started our discussion.
The first two stops are directly related to one another and form the basis for the beginning of our discussion. Acts 13:22 and Psalm 89:13-29 both paint a picture of David being a man that God has great affection for. Their relationship is close and David finds great favor in God's eyes. This is the David that we know and admire. This is the giant-killing, harp-playing, street-dancing king that authored Psalm 23. This is the guy whose family line would produce the final solution to the problem of sin. This is the man after God's own heart. This is our model for the relationship with God that all of us should strive for.
However, we also need to read Psalm 13. We need to read Psalm 22. We need to see David calling out to a God that he feels isn't close or even listening. We need to hear him lamenting as he feels God is ignoring and hiding from David. The words pour out of David in such a way that we identify with his anguish and hurt along with him. This does not sounds like the David we were just describing. If David can feel this way about God, where does that leave us?
Just to be sure, I asked the kids if they thought God had actually been far from David as he wrote those words. They said no. But it is obvious that He felt far away to David. And David is not the only one. We turned to Matthew 27:45-50 as we see Jesus cry out, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani". Surely God wouldn't turn His back on His own son in his greatest hour of need. I asked the kids what they thought about it. They talked it out and the outcome of their thoughts was that God had to turn His back on Jesus because of sin. And even though God was still there, Jesus felt like He was far.
In both situations, the culprit is sin.
David's laments throughout the Psalms are a direct result of sin, both his and others. Jesus, bearing our sins on the cross, felt the separation from his Father for the first time in eternity. Sin makes God feel far away. It is because He is holy and is set apart from sin. I didn't have to go into much detail as this made complete sense to the kids. So while God is near, He feels distant because of how He reacts to sin. The problem isn't with God actually being distant, but rather, how we feel because of His reaction. Whew! I'm glad we figured that little problem out. But there is a catch... we don't want Him to feel distant. So what do we do? Not sin? That's easy to say, and certainly the goal to shoot for, but pulling it off is a little harder. So how do we make God not feel far when we do sin?
We stepped back to use an example of a friend. If we had a friend that wasn't talking to us, and we didn't know why, we would go through a process to fix it. I asked the kids to walk me through that process. They explained that first, you would think back through the last couple encounters to see if there was anything that stood out that might explain it. If so, you would go apologize. If not, you might have to go to them and ask what you did wrong. If they told you, then you apologize. Realization followed by apology which hopefully leads to forgiveness. Once that has happened, you move forward. The exact same thing is true of God. Assuming we don't know which sin we have committed (yeah right) that keeps us from feeling God is near, we first examine our lives. We search out to see where we have offended God. And if we can figure it out, we ask for forgiveness. If we can't figure it out, we ask Him. Then we listen. The Spirit will reveal the sin and then we ask for forgiveness. It's the same with God as it is with any relationship. The only difference is that we're the only ones that can offend and need to ask for forgiveness and He is eager to forgive.
Right then, as if on cue, one of them asks, "But what if it isn't sin that makes God feel far? What if it is something else bad that is going on?" It's so hard to keep a straight face when you're choked up and beaming with pride. I love these kids! Sorry... Focus... YES! Great question! What if it isn't sin that is causing God to feel distant? What if it is just the pains of living in a fallen world and dealing with things like suffering, death and evil? That happens. We talked through the reality of bad things happening that cause us to question where God is in it all. To answer, I had a little practical illustration in mind. As I continued teaching, I dropped my voice to the smallest whisper I could produce and still keep talking. At first they laughed and joked until it clicked and they begin to tell each other to be quiet. Then they started catching bits and pieces. If they were quiet, they could make out parts but it wasn't until one of them got the bright idea to stand up and walk over to me that they were able to hear it all.
There is a beautiful story in 1 Kings 19 where Elijah is facing a serious trial. He is being chased by his enemies, God's people are worshipping idols and doing all types of evil, and Elijah is feeling distraught to the point of wishing for his death. The prophet makes it to Mount Horeb after 40 days of traveling and ends up in a cave. There the Lord comes to him and tells Elijah to go out and wait as He is about to pass by the mountain. At first there was a mighty wind, but God was not in the wind. Then there was a earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. Then there was a roaring fire, but God was not in the fire. Then came a gentle whisper. God was in the whisper.
A whisper seems so distant. It seems so far away. And when we seek to hear it, we tend to do two things: we quiet ourselves and lean toward it. These are the things that God wants and part of why God feels so far away during certain trials. He is in the whisper and is trying to get us to quiet ourselves and draw near to Him. It is a part of the way He redeems the evil in the world. It is why so many people come through ordeals closer to God. It is part of why He allows them to happen. It is what tilts us off balance when we become content with where we are in our process of sanctification. God uses our flawed emotional perception of His location to betray us enough to reveal His true presence and strength which draws us in to Himself as a means of growing us to be more like Christ. It is absolute genius.
Before we wrapped up, I had to ask the question "what makes us feel like God is far?". While we've already unpacked the questions of "why" God feels distant, I wanted to at least address the "what" causes the feeling. For the kids, it was when He doesn't answer our prayers or bad things keep happening. Since we had already discussed the way God uses bad things to draw us near, I wanted to talk about the way God answers prayers. We could spend an entire lesson on this topic but I just wanted to remind them that God hears our prayers, even if the answer is no, not yet or something else that doesn't line up with our instant-gratification expectations. Just because He doesn't answer our prayers the way we want doesn't mean He isn't there. And it doesn't always indicate sin. Sometimes we just pray based on our limited, finite, selfish perspective and it doesn't compare to His limitless, infinite, perfect plans. Being told no doesn't mean He isn't near. It just means no.
So, where does all that leave us? What do we do when God seems far? The answer is simple, though not always easy. Get up! Go to Him! Whether it is to ask for forgiveness for a sin we've committed against Him or if it is to draw near and quiet ourselves to hear the whisper, the result is the same. He is always here. If He feels distant then it is because we are not where we should be. It could be our pride, our stubbornness, our ignorance, our contentment, or any number of other things that hold us fast to where we are. But it isn't because He isn't there. We should be seeking Him, drawing near to Him and relying on Him. And, like both David and Jesus, if he feels far, then we can tell Him that He feels far. We can tell Him when we are scared, frustrated and mad. We can admit when we feel abandoned, ignored and forsakened. We can be honest and tell Him what we feel, even if we are wrong or if our perception is just off. He's can take it. After all, He is a big, big God.
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